A blow out that will blow your mind
Topic: Life Style

By Brian Eckard 

The day was hot, actually a very typical day in Texas. We were on our way west and the car was humming down the road as the countryside flew by at 80 mph. Suddenly a thumping noise started and the car swerved. Wrestling the vehicle to slow down and pull off the road we finally stopped on the shoulder. Getting out I walked around the car looking for the culprit–a flat tire on the right rear wheel.

Traffic was zooming by us as we unloaded the trunk in order to get to the spare tire and tools. Finally, with our luggage neatly lined up at the road’s edge I jack the car up and fix the flat. I roll the tire to the back of the car and with a grunt lift it up and throw it into the trunk. We then quickly pack the luggage back into the trunk, and the items we can’t fit go into the back seat, which is already crammed with all of our belongings along with three bewildered children who just barely understand why we are making our way west towards the setting sun.

Back on the road we slowly make our way to the next exit, carefully driving at 50 so as not to blow out our spare. We drive over to a truck stop and I get out. I walk into the garage, which is dark and smells of car grease. A man comes out of the office and says, "Can I help you?" "Yeah, we had a blow out on the highway and we need to get a replacement tire," I replied. "What kind of car?" the man snaps back. "A Daewoo," I reply. "Sorry, we don’t carry that size. You might try the store in town," the man responds. After giving me directions to the store in town I thank him and get back into the car. We slowly drive down the road and into the town. We locate the store and we get the same response, "We don’t carry that size tire."

Anxiety starts to fill my veins. We are trying to leave Texas and drive west to Washington. Is this situation going to cause us to turn around? Money is in short supply and this may be our only chance to get out. I had quit my job just that week and I knew there was no more pay coming into my hands. We prayed and asked for help. A man at the store in town told us to go to the next town where there was a Goodyear store. They might have the tire size we were looking for.

Again, we slowly drive back to the highway, and then down the road to the next town. Getting off the exit we spot a McDonalds. The boys light up pointing out their discovery, hoping that we will pull over so they can play. We find the Goodyear store and pull in. I walk into the showroom and explain to the salesman what I need. He checks his inventory and he has one tire left that fits my car.

I make arrangements with him to have the tire put onto my car. Before the work begins I drive down to the McDonalds and off my passengers who desperately gasped for fresh air. I went back to the Goodyear store and unloaded the trunk. My belongings piled up neatly outside the store, the mechanic moves my car into the garage and onto a lift. He quickly changes the tire and before I know it we are ready to go. After repacking the trunk yet again with my things, I return to the McDonalds to pick up the rest of my party. Everyone piles back into the cramped stale car and we continue our journey towards the setting sun.

A few minutes down the road we spot an accident with an overturned SUV in the median. We pass by praying for the people involved. It hits me that my blow out might have been something that delayed us and kept us from being involved in that accident. It was a strange incident that caused us to drive on a hunt for a tire size that really isn’t that rare. When we finally locate a tire, the store just happens to have only one tire left in that size. God was leading my family to safety and the blowout was a unique opportunity to show us the love our Father in Heaven has for us.

--Brian

Children of promise
Topic: Life Style

By Brian Eckard 

Last week my boys arrived for their annual summer visit with me. The anticipation and excitement of their arrival has been steadily growing since about April or so when I purchased their airline tickets for the trip here, and back home at the end of the summer. These two boys are so special, and they are also a handful. They are the result of a special promise made to me a long time ago by God. And, they are a promise for a future that is full of hope and love. But, they are also a fun handful of energy waiting to explode in fun and summer time mischief. They are little boys, and there is nothing like the special world of little boys. They bring back a flood of memories from when I was a little boy, and traveling to my aunt's house for my "big vacation" each year. I used to spend two weeks each summer in Connecticut with my aunt. She was a minister then and it was always fun to visit with her. She and I would travel all over New England visiting historical sites and simply enjoying the beautiful new england weather in late August.

My boys get to fly all the way across the United States to visit me in the Pacific Northwest. The climate here is very similar to New England, and summers are in general cool--at least compared to the summers in Texas, where the boys were born and spent the first six years of their lives. They now live with mom and her family on the east coast. I'm the renegade and have run across the country to the west coast to live.

Things are settling down for my boys since the divorce was finalized. It is really apparent in their behavior. They are more in control of themselves, and they have quickly picked up on the expectations that have been set for them in my house. They have been really good at behaving themselves and not stressing everyone out with their behavior. They've been helping around the house doing chores, They have fun jumping and playing in an inflatable pool that we recently bought for them. And, they have been diligently working on their school sumer workbooks so that they will be ready for the third grade when they return home at the end of the summer.

They were so good last week that we took them to the zoo last weekend. We must have walked a hundred miles--well, it seemed like it from how bad my legs hurt last Monday! Then, on Sunday we went swimming. It was so hot that day and it felt so good to jump in a pool and cool off for a while. What a lazy afternoon that was, and the weather? Absolutely beautiful, and not even a cloud in the sky. God had certainly kissed his creation and blessed us with such a beautiful weekend to enjoy!

More to come...

Where do I go from here?
Topic: Christian Thought
By Melissa Nollan

Sometimes in life, we find ourselves at a point where nothing seems to make sense. It's almost as if you are standing at a crossroad in the middle of nowhere. You look down each path to find the absence of life itself.

I'm at that crossroad. I've chosen a path and walked it to find it doesn't lead anywhere. I head back and try another one, only to discover they are all the same. The strange part is that God keeps telling me that I am where He wants me to be, and I don't understand that. Why would He lead me to a place that is desolate and dry as far as the eye can see? Even as I write the words, God is answering me. I've seen this place before in my dreams, but something is different. The place I saw was covered, inch for inch, with flowers. Fields of flowers that never ended... a promise meant for me.

God is bringing me to a place in my life where ties are being broken. Though it stings, He knows I no longer need the ties that bind two hearts together. He's breaking habits and forming new bonds. Just as you drive from town to town and each one trickles out before a new one can begin, I am watching relationships end so the new ones can begin. I'm in transition. It's lonely here... so quiet and motionless. What does one do out here, in the middle of nowhere?

Suddenly another picture is coming to mind... a memory of something that happened close to two years ago while driving from Texas to Washington state. We had been driving for miles. Hours went by and we were still looking at the same lifeless land, almost as if we hadn't gone anywhere at all. I was in the passenger seat looking out the window, when I saw three men on top of a hill dressed in white. Two of the men had blonde hair and they were standing side by side, looking up to the sky. The third man was hunched over with a cross weighing down on him, he had fallen to his knees. I remember thinking, "Huh... they must be reenacting a play or something... that's cool". We continued driving, but my head replayed the picture over and over again. Questions started running through my mind. "Hey, how did they get up on top of that hill, it was really steep?" "There was no car, how did they get out here in the middle of nowhere... with a huge cross?"

I finally turned to the other people in the car and asked if they saw those men back there. They all just looked at me like I was nuts, "Uhh, what men?" How could they have missed them? It occurred to me at this point that God was trying to say something and I was oblivious to it. Just as that thought went through my mind, the tire blew out in the car. A series of strange events followed, and we assumed that God was trying to tell us, "Keep your eyes on Me" (with the two men looking to the sky). Oddly enough, I've always felt like there was something more to it than that, but more could not be found. To see those men in my head again, pertaining to my feeling like I'm at a deserted crossroad, something fits.

"Father God, give me wisdom and discernment. Reveal Yourself to me. I do not fully understand why I am here. I see visions and hear promises that I do not fully understand either. Only You can unveil my eyes and open my ears. Speak to my heart. Loneliness has felt like a plague in my life for so long, I do not understand why you are bringing me here. I know You are with me, but it hurts to watch each relationship in my life fall away. One by one, those close to me are being pulled in a different direction. I feel strengthened, yet I feel weak. I trust You and You alone, Lord. Show me Your heart in this. Show me what to do and where to go. I want what You have for me, Lord. Let Your will, not mine, be done. AMEN"
--Melissa

Letting Go
Topic: Reflections

By Brian Eckard

People just love carrying around emotional baggage. What I'm talking about is our past and all of the experiences that seem to shape who we are today.For most of us, our pasts are littered with good memories and bad. It seems that we never really remember the good times, but we love to dwell on the bad times. For some of us this leads us into depression, for others denial, and for a very select few it motivates them to learn how to let go and move on with their lives.

I'm learning how to let go. And, as I prepare to enter into a new life with my best friend and fiance, I have been spending time looking at my past and remembering what I have been through. I have carefully analyzed my experiences and attempted to learn from them. My goal is simple. I want to learn from my experiences and then get rid of all the bad experiences. I am purposely striving to only take my good memories forward with me into my new life that is blossoming around me.

Learning how to let go can take a life time to learn. Some people would even suggest that letting go is in a sense, denial. I don't believe that it is. I'm not denying that my past exists, I am consicously deciding to take what good I can learn from it and then leaving the rest of it behind. It is more of a purging than it is a denial that it even exists.

My struggle to let go began with looking back and searching through my experiences to discover why I came to the place where I find myself today. It is the sum total of all those experiences that equal the person whom I am today, if that makes any sense to you.

Both the good things that have happened to me, and the bad things have shaped me into the man that I am today. I am not condemned to stay the current course that I am on. I can change things, and that is what the new life that awaits me with my fiance is all about. It is a new life, a new opportunity, a chance at happiness once more.

Some old photographs

The other night we were cleaning up our place for my boys who will be coming to visit me for the summer. We found my photographs and started to look at them. What a flood of memories of times gone by, many of which I am happy. My first marriage lasted for 18 years. At the beginning it was a good marriage and there was a lot of happiness. Somewhere along the way that happiness went away. The sadness that descended on my household slowly drained the life out of all of us. You can see it in the last pictures that I have from that marriage. The looks on the faces were sad. There was obviously very little happiness in that family.

Deep down, I know when I started to become sad in that marriage. I thought that I could force myself to be happy, and to accept things for what they were. After all, the marriage vow is for better or for worse. I settled for the fact that I was simply stuck in this thing and would have to see it to its end--most likely after a long life. What have I learned from that? Never, NEVER, settle for anything. If you want to be happy you have to choose to be happy. You cannot force it, you cannot fake it, you cannot survive if you just accept that things have to be negative. It's funny, because I didn't learn this until after my marriage failed and I had moved on into a new relationship. It was like a mask had been lifted from my eyes. I was happy again--and without even trying. I laugh now, and I smile when you take my picture.

Looking at those pictures also reminded me of my responsibility in that marriage. I had let my attitude get to a point where I became frustrated and angry. I felt stuck and trapped in something that I wasn't sure I wanted to be in. I didn't hate anybody. My former wife has always been a good friend. This was certainly not her fault that I had changed like this. She was dealing with her own issues that had swamped her and overtaken her to a point where she too wanted out of this relationship. I don't know when these feelings of being trapped hit her, but it was obvious at the end that we both were feeling the same thing.

Everyone is now in the process of moving on, which is good, and it is needed. Life goes on and that is the lesson that my children need to learn. I want them to learn from my example, that when everything falls apart you pick up the pieces, learn from your mistakes, make plans for a better future, and move on. That is what I did, and what I am currently doing. Out of the collection of photographs that I brought with me from Texas, I've kept one picture of my former wife with my children. Everyone is smiling and actually looking happy. That is the one memory of my marriage that I want to keep. The memory of when it was a good marriage and we were all happy together. The rest--all the negative, I'm letting go.

A loss that is simply unacceptable to me

Part of the fallout from my divorce was my daughter shunning me. She and I once had a good relationship. She had a good sense of humor and the sarcasm that would come out between us was entertaining. She had a good head on her shoulders and was able to make good choices and decisions. She's still pretty much like that. She's on the honor roll in high school and there is so much to be proud of about her. She is also a very talented artist, and I think if she wanted to she could go far with that talent and make a nice living for herself.

She is angry with me over the divorce and maybe other issues, which she refuses to explain to me so that we can reconcile and restore our relationship. I decided to give her space and have given her freedom. Our last tiff was over her summer visits that the custody agreement requires her to do. She simply doesn't want to spend time with me. It is sad that she does not want to fight to keep her father in her life.

So, I have moved on without her. Even though it is hard to do, it is best for me to let go and move on with what is working in my life. The ball is in her court now as far as how and when she wants to resolve her issues with me. I'm here.

Crash and burn

The most interesting experience I had was at the very end when everything fell apart. The ease with which I was willing to let it go and lose most if not all of my possessions simply amazed me. I had always thought that it would be hard to lose everything. This experience changed my mind on what many would say is a pretty big negative. I found it almost cleansing.

Initially, when it happened, I was in a state of shock. I knew what I had to do in order to protect my kids, and it was almost like I was running on automatic. Entering my apartment after I had gotten over the fear of what had happened, I commanded my daughter to help me load up the car. I told her to pack her clothes and to pick one thing that she wanted to keep. I told her to do that for her brothers too. I then started to pack up the car. I grabbed my two PC boxes and also Beth's box. I figured we could purchase new monitors and keyboards later. We carefully packed up the car, squeezing everything we could think of into it.

Then we all got into the car and started to look for a place to stay. I know we could have stayed in the apartment that night, but I felt an urgency to the situation, and I didn't want my kids to experience actually being evicted from their home. Finally we found a motel that we could afford to stay in. I used all of the money in my account to pay for that room, and have enough cash left over to cover food. I knew that my account would soon over draw. Fortunately, my attorney's checks had come through and been paid. So it was only a matter of waiting for my next pay check.

I knew that I was going to be leaving Texas as soon as that pay check arrived, so it would also be my last for a while. Still in shock, my kids and I waited for that week and a half to come to an end. The next morning I put in my notice. I told my boss what was going on. She was very concerned, and when she found out that I was trying to figure out how to pay for the remaining days in the motel until pay day, she gave me some money to cover our expenses.

When my last day of work, and pay day, finally arrived I was elated. My friend had arrived in town the night before and we would be leaving Texas for good in a couple of hours. Before we could leave there were some final things to take care of. I had a pay day loan to pay off, and I wanted to pay the apartment for the money we owed them that had been the reason they evicted us. We did our errands and ended up at the apartment complex. My friend dropped the check and my key in the drop box, and we left.

After getting back to the motel we packed up the car and loaded the kids into the back seat. We still had a lot of food items that we didn't want to take with us, so we gave it all to the maid, who was very pleased at her unexpected gift. With a quick look around, I got into my car, started it up, and we left. There was no remorse, no sorrow, no tears. It was very easy to leave all my things behind for a new and better life. I let it all go. --Brian

A nation of immigrants
Topic: News and Analysis

The other night I watched President Bush's speech to the nation about Immigration and the unsecured border this country shares with Mexico. His speech got me to thinking about the United States and what it stands for to people around the world. We are certainly a nation of immigrants. That fact has been a steady reality right from the beginning when the first Europeon settlers arrived on these shores. Even before that time the native Americans who were already here also arrived form distant shores, many traveling on foot across the land bridge that is now the Beiring Strait separating Russia and the United States.

For seven years of my adult life I have lived in Texas, a border state. In Texas there is a huge dependance on the migrant work force to provide laborers for construction, farming, and other jobs that Americans typically don't want to do. The house that I owned in Texas was built primarily by the hands of Mexicans who come up from Mexico and spend the week camping and working at the construction site. Then, in the afternoon they pack up and drive south to return to Mexico and their families for the weekend. The lifecycle repeats itself over and over again. And, when the houses have been built, the workers move on to the next gig and start all over again.

The love and dedication these men show in their work is a pride that, in my opinion, has been lost by many Americans workers. American business is focused on the bottom line, and the constant search for a cheaper pool of labor to draw from. That is what outsourcing is all about, and that is how the migrant labor force in this country can exist. The wealthy business owners cry out for tougher laws for immigrants, yet they are letting migrant workers sneak in through the back door because it is good for their businesses.

From the very beginning, the United States has always been a nation of immigrants. It was originally set up as a beacon on the hill, so to speak, that allowed hope to shine brightly from these shores to the rest of the world. And, despite what many in the world might say against our policies and actions, the fact remains that for many in the world, the United States is a destination that they are trying to achieve. People thirst for our freedoms and the fact is, there is simply no place on this earth like the United States.

We are not a nation that has police running around in jeeps with machine guns. The police forces here try to remain as transparent as possible as they uphold the rule of law and protect the citizens of this great land. Here, you are free to travel anywhere you want--the government does not restrict you. You are free to start a business, or choose whatever career you want. The only limitations placed on you are the ones that you place on yourself.

And, our history has always been that the people of this great land are generous. Not only are we generous with our money but we have always been willing to welcome the stranger to our land where they can come and make a new life and a new future for themselves.

Consider Emma Lazarus' poem that is  engraved on a tablet within the pedestal on which the Statue  of Liberty stands.

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

With that said, the uproar over illegal aliens and the immigration laws has created yet another politically charged issue. Is the United States really trying to stop immigration and the steady inflow of illegal aliens from our southern borders? I don't think that they are. After all, we are a sovereign nation and we have the right and responsibility to protect our borders. If we had been more dilligent in our security and enforcing the immigration laws in effect 2001 we might have had a different outcome of events in September of that year. Is there anyone to blame? Is this a failure of the current administration running our government?

I don't believe that it is. This is an issue that has been bubbling in the background for years, and the events of September 2001 and recently simply point to the fact that it is a problem that will not go away until we deal with it. So in 2006 a debate starts up with what should be done to our immigration laws. Part of that debate includes the politicizing of the issue in an attempt by some to gain the upper hand in the debate.

Thankfully, our system of government works well, and the debate has taken place and Congress and the Senate have made changes to our immigration laws. We haven't shut the door and we have attempted to deal with the question of what to do with all of the illegal aliens currently living in the United States. If they follow the new laws, we are going to give them a chance to become legal residents and ultimately citizens. And, that is the response that I would expect from the government of the United States, a nation of immigrants, and a nation who lives under the rule of law.

--Brian

Revamping the American Dream
Topic: Life Style
This is my third go at the American dream. My first attempt was when I was young and able to obtain outrageous amounts of credit. The second attempt was after being wiped out with medical bills. During this attempt I would move to a new state, go bankrupt for the first time, and almost pull it off! The current attempt is after still more medical bills, a recent divorce, and a second bankruptcy. What have I learned? That is what this series of articles is all about. We will examine my three attempts and extract what we can from the experiences to see if we can improve on the obtaining the dream model.

Teenagers and a look back at my own life
Topic: Reflections

I can still remember when I was a teenager. Boy, talk about a period of time in life that I would never want to return to and live over again. And, my teenage years weren't that bad. Even though I had my own set of self-imagined issues with my parents--as most American teenagers have. Here's how ridiculous this age group is. We live in one of the most affluent countries on earth. Kids today can get just about anything they want. Most parents spoil their kids with new cars, stereos, clothes--and yet, the spoiled child still complains about issues with their parents.

The more I deal with my teenage daughter, and now my teenage step daughter, the more I wonder if I was like that too when I was their age. My conclusion--yup?I was. All of the issues, the attitudes, the mood swings. My encounters now simply keep reminding me of where I have been, and what I've been through. As I said at the beginning, I would never want to be a teenager again.

Teenagers today are better off than when I was a teenager. However, I didn't have it that bad either. I pretty much received whatever I asked for, just like my daughter and step daughter experience. I also felt the injustice of it all when my parents would say no and not allow me to do something, or receive something. How dare they say no to me! GRIN. As a parent looking back at my own situation, I can now see the wisdom that my parents used with me when they did turn me down.

Their motives for their actions were based off of a love for me, and a desire to not see me harmed. They simply were trying to give me space to grow, and at the same time protect me from harm. I have the same motives when I deal with my children. And, just like my parents experienced, my teenage kids also question my motives and seem to always draw the wrong conclusions as to my actions. There just isn't any winning with teenagers. It boils down to having it their way, or no way!

Friends are so important to a teenager. They travel around in herds. The typical teenager craves to be an individual. What that means though is that they don't want to be like their parents. They are rebellious. Yet the individuality they seek gets washed away by peer pressure, and they dress like the herd they roam around the place with. This seems to be a very common trait of all teenagers. I see this in my daughter, who lives on the east coast, and my step daughter, who lives with me and her mother on the west coast.

They get angry with their parents for unfounded reasons. They imagine all sorts of issues that may or may not even exist. They are prideful, thinking that they know more than their parents. Never mind that their parents have been on this earth a lot longer then they--to a teenager, their parents are simply idiots. So, the parents' experience is simply wiped away as unrelated to the current day. If you have ever studied history you will quickly learn that the human condition has really not changed. We are still dealing with the same issues so a teenager 20 years ago is the same as a teenager in present times. The toys and technology may have changed, the inner person has not.

Immaturity rules the life of a teenager as they enroll in the school of hard knocks. They don't realize that their parents were once teenagers, and more than likely shared the same attitudes and feelings that their children now experience. They don't want to admit that life is unfair, and sometimes things happen that are out of the control of their parents. This leads to unfair decisions that do hurt. But, they hurt the parent as much as the teenager when they are made.

When I had to decide to send my children to the east coast, it was one of the hardest decisions to make. Especially when it was made in the middle of divorce proceedings. My children were fortunate though. Even though their lives had fallen apart, as mine had too, the adults involved put their differences aside so that the interests of the children could be met. It was a hard decision, but all of us made the right decision. I wouldn't change any of it.

Out of the turmoil of that divorce my daughter has come through, but she has chosen to be an angry teenager, and take out her frustrations on her father. Even though at one point she even asked me to divorce her mother, she still blames me for everything that has happened to her. I am willing to take responsibility for my decisions, and I have. She still needs some time to come to the realization that she too has to take responsibility for her part in the family, and the break up of that family.

And, that is the key to growing up. Learning to take responsibility for your own actions and choices. It is not the fault of my parents that my life has turned out as it has. It is all 100% my fault. I suffer the consequences of my decisions, not my parents. Their actions at one point in time did affect me, but in the big scheme of things it boils down to what I decided to do with their decisions, and my actions. My daughter is no different. She is choosing to be angry with me. That is not a choice that I have made. She is choosing to hold a grudge, to not communicate with me, and to not resolve whatever her issues are with me. I have left the door open for her, and when she is ready we will work this out to resolution. I've taken responsibility for my actions. When will she take responsibility for her part in this?--Brian

Comic courtesy of: http://www.msnbc.com/comics/

Welcome
Welcome to the Penny Wise Almanac. Here you will find a causual collection of interesting articles focused on living life to its fullest. We cover politics, life styles, motivation, current events, special interests, hobbies, crafts, gardening, and more. We also reprint entertaining essays and stories written by some of America's famous authors of the past such as, Mark Twain, Edgar Allen Poe, and others. At the end of each year, we compile our collection of online articles into a magazine that we publish and offer for sell on our web site.

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