Topic: Life Style
By Brian Eckard
After traveling across the United States from Texas to Washington in four days, I found myself stuck in a small motel room with three children. I had two weeks to find a job or I would be out on the streets for yet a third time in 2004. With my American dream in ruins at my feet, I had been delivered on a wing and a prayer to a new state where I wanted to make my home and start over again with my life.
My first order of business was to find work. Once I established an income stream I could then locate housing and get my children into a more stable and secure situation. Once I had a residence I could then figure out what schools they would attend and get them back on track with their education. I was in a race against time and a dewindling supply of money that was rapidly running out. I was in Washington, by the grace of God.
The very next morning my job search started in earnest. I set up a spreadsheet to track my prospects and then I went out on the Internet to Monster.com. I located jobs in the area and started to send out my resume. Each day I sent out resumes, and before I knew it I started to receive phone calls from interested recruiters. I also called around to the various temp agencies. I knew from my experience in Dallas that locating a contract position might be the quickest way back to a pay check.
The kids watched television and played games together. We had very little money available for food, and we were limited to going to fast food places. It was expensive and only made us spend our money supply at a fast clip. We limited our meals to just breakfast and dinner. I paid for breakfast, and my friend, Melissa, paid for dinner. Somehow we were able to survive like this for about two weeks.
The first weekend in Washington was fun. I had searched for a job all week and had actually scored two job interviews during that time with temp agencies. So I decided that over the weekend we would relax and have some fun. My daughter teamed up with Melissa's daughter and went over to her aunt's place. They ended up spending the night over there and my daughter seemed to really get along with everybody. She was slowly beginning to calm down. Especially after she discovered that Melissa's family was large, and there were girls there who are close to her in age. My daughter even told me that she liked the area, so I felt she was getting past her issues with moving and starting to accept the new situation that she found herself in.
The money runs out
Our second week begins with a grave money situation. There was no money available for breakfasts or to do laundry. We started to feel the pinch of unemployment. Since I had quit my job I was not able to collect unemployment. I didn’t want to look into social services, and since I was new to the area I felt I probably wouldn't qualify for any assistance anyways. The kids started to get a taste of what it was like to be hungry, and to go without. The stress level started to grow rapidly as I tried desparately to keep things going. It was a struggle to keep sending the resumes out, but I knew that job hunting is a numbers game, and I had to get my resume out in front of people in order to score interviews and then job offers. So, the job hunt continued.
Melissa and I started to figure out how to come up with more money so that I could remain in the motel with the kids. We also started looking at other options. What would we do if we ran out of money? Where would we stay? We faced the fact that even if her family wanted to help out there really was no room for me and my kids together. I didn't really feel comfortable splitting everyone up since the kids didn't really know Melissa's family. We contemplated asking for money, but how realistic is that option? I called my family for help but they were not in a postion to help out since my dad was already helping his sister out at the time. She was in the hospital and he was handling all of her financial affairs and making all sorts of trips north to Connecticut to visit her.
With no where to go, I dropped to my knees in prayer asking for help. Melissa and I both prayed. Towards the middle of the week an idea came to me to call the children's mother. Reluctantly I did. You see, we were in the middle of divorce proceedings at the time and I really didn't want to send the kids away, but I also didn't want them to end up homeless. I called her and asked for help. After explaining the situation we were in to her, she said that she would call back after talking to her family.
Even in adveristy you shall find peace
That evening, Melissa took me out to dinner and a movie so that we could get our minds off of the dire situation that I was in. Before we left we went out and brought back dinner for the kids. Then, my daughter watched the boys along with Melissa's daughter. When we came back, later that evening my daughter told me that her mother had called, and I was to call her as soon as I returned.
I called, and ended up talking to her mother. She was very polite about everything. Our focus was united on the children and keeping them safe. All of the other issues were not important right now. We had to do what was right for the kids. She told me that the family was going to fly them to Maryland. I agreed. I also felt relief because I knew my children would be safe and in a more secure situation then there were in at that time. The tickets had already been purchased and all I had to do was get them to the airport the next morning.
The look on my daughter's face was one of shock when I told the kids that they were going to be flown to Maryland to stay with their mother and her family. Their ordeal was over and things would be returning to a somewhat more normal situation for them. I apologized to my daughter for having to send her to Maryland.
Originally, she didn't want to go and live there. In Texas, I had even promised her that I would not send her there. I was breaking my promise to her because it was a better option for her that she go live with her mother in Maryland than the one she faced with me if she stayed. This was the hardest decision in my life and I also knew I was doing the right thing. That night, I felt relieved even though my own situation was still percarious. I was at peace, and I slept well.
A tearful goodbye
The next morning came quickly. We had to get up early and get the car packed up. Not only was I taking the children to the airport, but I was also checking out. The money had run out completely and I could no longer afford to stay at the motel. Melissa had arranged for me to stay with her and her daughter over at her aunt's place. So I had a place to go even though I felt very homeless. After the car was packed up, Melissa said good bye to my kids and she and her daughter left. She had to take her daughter to school and then go to work. I took my kids to the airport.
After arriving at the airport, we grabbed their bags and went to check in. The lines were long and I felt the stress and worry of what if we miss the plane? Then what? Finally we get up to the counter. I'm informed that the flight is not a non stop and the children would have to make a connection. I didn't have the money to pay for the airline to escort them so my daughter was going to have to make this connection at O'hare in Chicago. I had all sorts of bad feelings about it, and she looked scared.
Then the attendant noticed the time and realized that there wasn't enough time for us to get to the gate. In effect with all of the security procedures, we had missed the flight. So, he quickly changed our flight over to a non-stop. Now the children were flying directly to Maryland, and my daughter could escort the boys without worrying about making connections. She looked relieved. And, the change in flight was made without any additional charges to me. The attendant handed us the boarding passes and we headed for the gate.
When we arrived at the gate waiting area there was about an hour left before departure. The children were hungry, but I didn't have any money to buy them anything to eat. We sat staring at each other. Finally it was time to board. I hugged my children and we said our goodbyes. I didn't know when the next time would be when I would see them again. They boarded the plane and I stayed to watch it take off. Then, I headed back to my car and drove over to Melissa's aunt's house. For the rest of the day enjoyed talking to Melissa's grand mother while waiting for her to come home from work. At around 3 PM I drove down to the elementary school where her daughter attended and picked her up. Soon afterwards Melissa arrived home and we went out to get something to eat.
My life quckly moved into a steady routine of waking up and checking my email. Then I went out to Monster.com to send out more resumes that were then recorded on my tracking sheet. Once the job hunt activities had been completed I spent the remainder of the day taking phone calls when received, and working on one of my hobbies. During this time I also went out on interviews as they were scheduled. One of those meetings led to a contract opportunity over at Microsoft. By Thanksgiving I once again had a job and was working my way towards that first pay check.
Looking back, I was unemployed for about three weeks in Washington state before landing my first contract with Microsoft. We finished the year by celebrating Christmas at the beach. My new life was already beginning. In January of 2005 we moved into an apartment and I continued to work for Microsoft as a contract technical writer. Things were starting to look better in my personal life. However, the divorce proceedings were starting to get bogged down in an attempt to manipulate the legal system and get the proceedings to move from Texas to Maryland where my children were residing. But, that's a different story.
--Brian
